BEST. ASSEMBLY.EVER

Apparently, some kids in NYC got to view 45 seconds of a porno when their teacher was trying to show them a Jonas Brothers movie. From metro.co.uk:

Parents initially heard the DVD player had been locked in [Robert Marchi's] office before the film was shown- but it later emerged it had been in an open area where anyone could have tampered with it. Mum Rona Easton told the New York Post: "My son told his friend he saw a naked lady at school." She added: "I thought he was just being silly. It's appalling." Five classes had been taken into an auditorium to watch "Camp Rock," a Disney Channel movie starring the Jonas Brothers according to head teacher Robert Marchi. But he wrote to parents that a "very explicit pornographic video came on the screen.

This seems suspicious. First of all, we’re agreeing that it was a DVD, right? How does one play the DVD without first seeing the cumming attractions (get it, cause it was porn, you see) or the menu screen? Was it homemade porn? If so, I don’t think we need to call in Colombo (not that he’s solving any mysteries these days). And how much can one really see 45 seconds into a porno? 45 seconds in they’re still setting up weak plot points and trying to work the boom mic out of the background. Either way, I think these kids are lucky to have a teacher that “accidentally” shows them porn. My fifth grade teacher sent me to counseling when I brought in Throbin Hood (Prince of Beaves). Fuckin prude.