British couple killed by irony, lack of food

A British couple known for their extravagent (stolen) yacht setting lifestyle who were found dead and badly decomposed in their stolen yacht adrift off the coast twelve miles from Dakar, Senegal in September are now believed to have died of starvation. What? What's wrong with "yacht-setting"? I would have said "jet setting" but they weren't stealing jets, they were stealing yachts. It wasn't supposed to be funny. You know what? Fuck you guys. I've been sitting here for six hours. Just read the damn block quote and leave me to my minesweeper.

A couple who stole a yacht and set sail around the world to escape police were found after they apparently starved to death drifitng off the coast of Africa, an inquest heard yesterday. The story of their slow, agonising death was detailed in a vivid diary found on board written by the couple as they came to terms with a certain death. Peter Clarke, 49, and Sharon Arthurs-Chegini, 46, had enjoyed a 'champagne and cocaine' lifestyle beyond their means and stole the yacht they died on after skipping bail for a previous boat theft. It is thought their vessel suffered damage in a storm and that Mr Clarke became bedridden as they tried to survive by drinking sea water and urine...The mother-of-three also wrote: 'We have been bashed about for days. Peter is collapsed in bed. I have been unable to get to him. 'Everything takes huge amounts of energy, having consumed no water yesterday. 'My heart and love goes out to my daughters and to my immediate family.' [Source: dailymail.co.uk]

Just another one of those 'couple steals boat to live extravagant caviar and champagne lifestyle only to end up drinking their own pee and starving to death' stories you hear so much about. Almost a tragic cliché, really.

Ed. Note: This story refers to, of course, the incongruity/literary kind of irony, not the literal-opposite kind (I'm sick of your emails).